why i am here?

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ 

assalamu'alaikum,

sometimes, when i face challenges that i think i could not go through it, i will feel down, upset,emotional and i want to give up..

but, often a few moments after that He gave me direct reminder and warning through the people around me, especially sahabat.

i remember when i enter matriculation,

there was some point, i'm really stress, culture shock, being brough up by family that take care of me according to basic principles of Islam, and grew up and school in Islamic environment where really peaceful.

then, here comes matriculation, where religious classes is only 2 hour per week,sadly.

because im use to a system where i can get my soul supplemente veryday..

i cry in my solat. seriously crying.

feeling lost and dejected in the society of urban kids.

so i search, along the way i found my 1st basis usrah.

happy.

so much.

alhamdulillah..

then, when my usrah mates graduates from matriculation i felt so alone again.

i have to start all over again.

searching, building..

along the way, ALLAH gave me my close friends.

whom with them i could be myself.

and they are always corrected me when im wrong,

support me when i need it,

remind me if i forget,

teach me if i can not understands.

thank you, emi,zakiah,jannah,syakirah,fadilah,amal,shira,ummi and ainul and masyitah

alhmdulillah we are all accepted to IPTAs , however all in different universities.

separation is hard as it always be, but its for the best.

people said, ignorance is a bliss.

i really dont understands that.

how come?

now, a few years after that im still here.

alhamdulillah.

trying to practice my deen.

to do what i learn.

when i was about to give up.

i always ask myself.

why im here.

why?

my answer.

because i need it.

i cannot be ignorance of the fact.

i cannot let my kids be a jahiliyah

i cannot see my ummah suffer.

i could not bare the Jahannam.

i want the Jannah.

Allah has said in the Quran

 10. O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a commerce that will save you from a painful torment.
11.  That you believe in Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad ), and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know!
12. (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwelling in Gardens of 'Adn - Eternity ['Adn (Edn) Paradise], that is indeed the great success.
13. And also (He will give you) another (blessing) which you love, help from Allah (against your enemies) and a near victory. And give glad tidings (O Muhammad ) to the believers.
14. O you who believe! Be you helpers (in the Cause) of Allah as said 'Iesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), to Al-Hawariun (the disciples): "Who are my helpers (in the Cause) of Allah?" Al-Hawarieen (the disciples) said: "We are Allah's helpers" (i.e. we will strive in His Cause!). Then a group of the Children of Israel believed and a group disbelieved. So We gave power to those who believed against their enemies, and they became the uppermost.

 surah as saff:10-14

that's my motivation.

for now.

 subhanallah, alhamdulillah, allahuakbar.

allahumma solli 'ala muhammad.

 la ilaha illallah,muhammadurrasulullah.